The Well-Dressed Slayer
by mmooch
Summary: What is the perfect attire for slaying? Rory Gilmore isn't sure.
1. Chapter 1: Outfitting the Slayer

**The Well-Dressed Slayer**

Summary: What is the perfect attire for slaying? Rory Gilmore isn't sure.

Warning: I don't know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.

Timeline: Not really specific for BtVS, but obviously before season 4 of Gilmore Girls. AU in that Luke and Lorelai have already gotten together and are very happy, thank you very much!

Challenge: none that I can find; if you see one that matches, please let me know.

A/N: From an idea that some kids gave me because of a conversation over a clip-on tie vs a real one.

Thanks to my betas: none, I couldn't subject them to this crackfic.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Gilmore Girls belong to the WB. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

**Chapter 1: Outfitting the Slayer**

**The Crapshack**

Rory Gilmore, the newly-Called Slayer, stood in the middle of her bedroom, trying to think of what to wear for her first patrol.

Jeans would be good for durability, but would they hinder her movement too much?

Same thing for wearing a jacket, but the jacket would have the added bonus of pockets to put her holy water, crosses and stakes in.

Then there was the question of footwear…tennis shoes would be easier to run in, but she could use high heels as weapons – as Taylor found out one day when he tried to bother her mother during a Founder's Day party.

Finally, what should she do about her hair? Leaving it loose would let it flip in her way. On the other hand, wearing a ponytail would give the vampires something to grab, and that didn't sound pleasant.

"Mom!" she cried out, giving up. "I need help getting my outfit together before Buffy and Mr. Giles get here! I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing!"

Lorelai Gilmore, mother to the newly-Called Slayer, sashayed into the disaster room that was usually impeccably clean. This looked like _her_ room, not Rory's. "But you _don't_ know what you're doing; that's what this training patrol is for," she reminded her nervous child.

If it weren't for them telling her that going with would put her baby in more danger, Lorelai would be picking out her own outfit right then. As it was, she was getting the first aid kit ready – which she really hoped was unnecessary – while Sookie prepared after-patrol snacks. No surprise, but Luke was busy carving stakes out on the porch.

But back to the issue at hand…picking the perfect outfit. Thankfully, that was something Lorelai was a master at. Or would that be mistress? Ooo, dirty! She'd have to remember that for later, when she and Luke had a moment alone.

Glancing quickly at all the piles of clothes, she quickly snatched the cargo pants Rory got for building houses with Habitat for Humanity. Since the night was a bit chilly, she also grabbed a long-sleeved, v-neck shirt and a jean jacket that she made special for her baby girl when she found out about this slaying thing. It looked like one of those street vendor's, except for places to put jewelry, this had loops for the stakes Luke was carving.

"These should work," Lorelai said with an air of authority. "For tonight, why don't you wear tennis shoes; we can practice on you fighting with high-heeled boots when it isn't life and death. We'll French-braid your hair to keep it out of the way, but it won't give the baddies something to grab. For an accent you can use, we'll put some mini-stakes in the back through the braid."

Rory stared at her mom in awe. "You've done it again! I get why you were able to put together a great date outfit, but a slaying outfit?"

The slightly older, but still young enough to be cool, Gilmore shrugged, "Same principles apply as with a dating outfit, you just have different functions with this."

"And she asked Buffy earlier," Sookie chipped in from the kitchen.

"Sookie!" Lorelai snapped in mock anger. "That was our little secret so Rory would think I was wonderful!"

Hugging her mom as tightly as she could without breaking her, Rory exclaimed, "You _are_ wonderful! How many moms would ask what their daughter should wear, much less make a jacket specially-designed for slaying?"

Just then, the doorbell rang and Rory raced to answer it. "Hi Buffy…Mr. Giles. You remember my mom; this is her boyfriend, Luke, and her best friend, Sookie," she introduced all the adults.

Giles shook the man's hand, and commented, "You can call me Rupert." Seeing Lorelai's amused look, he quickly added, "Or Giles, if you prefer."

"If you're lucky, you may get to call him Ripper," Buffy chirped, unconcerned about the glare he sent her way. "Or maybe that's _unlucky_ 'cause he only gets that way when he's really angry or magicked up on spelled candy."

Leaning over, Giles stage-whispered, "You really shouldn't talk, Cave-Buffy." When she blushed, he looked quite pleased with himself. "Now that that's over with, are you ready, Rory?"

Buffy gave her trainee-Slayer a detailed examination, gesturing for the young girl to turn around so she could get the full picture. Lorelai had her open the jacket so they could put a bunch of stakes in. The veteran Slayer was impressed that Lorelai had thought to put 'caps' so the stakes wouldn't hang freely; that was just asking for trouble – like in the respect of being jabbed with her own stake.

"Very nice," Buffy declared. "We'll be back in a few hours. Oh, your cellphone is fully-charged, right Rory?"

Rory nodded, and gave her mother and friends another hug before following Buffy and Giles to the car.

Sookie called out before the engine started, "Don't forget I made snacks for later!"

"I thought _you_ were bad at keeping your identity a secret," Giles said to his Slayer, his tone teasing. "Rory is going to have the entire town helping her by the end of the week if this keeps up."

Buffy smiled back at Rory so the teenager would know they weren't really angry. She was told the dangers of letting too many people know, and if she felt those two were trustworthy, then they were trustworthy – at least until they proved otherwise. "At least we're getting snacks out of the deal."

"Oh, and they'll be the best snacks you've ever had," Rory promised, relieved she wasn't already in trouble with her trainers. "Thanks for telling my mom what I should wear; I couldn't make any decisions. It was almost as bad as the first time I got dressed for a guy."

"You should get the benefit of my years of experience. Sadly, the old Slayer's handbook said nothing about clothing choices," Buffy replied, glaring lightly at her Watcher.

Giles felt the need to defend the Watchers Council, even though he knew it was a losing battle, "That is because the Slayers never worried about looking fashionable for dancing afterward."

"Their loss," was the flippant reply.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked it. I had a hard time finding a stopping point.


	2. Chapter 2: Not the Townspeople!

**Chapter 2: Not the Townspeople!**

Warning: I don't know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.

Timeline: Not really specific for BtVS, but obviously before season 4 of Gilmore Girls. AU in that Luke and Lorelai have already gotten together and are very happy, thank you very much!

Challenge: none that I can find; if you see one that matches, please let me know.

A/N: This is the result of not going to sleep when I should have.

Thanks to my betas: none, I couldn't subject them to this crackfic.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Gilmore Girls belong to the WB. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Dialogue from ..

**

* * *

**

Stars Hollow Town Square

As expected, it wasn't long before Sookie spilled the beans to her boyfriend, Jackson, and they were overheard by Miss Patty. So that meant the whole town would find out by the next night. And in true Slayer luck, a group of vampires decided to attack Stars Hollow that following night in an attempt to gain notoriety for killing the Head Watcher and Slayer, along with her protégé. Which meant Giles, Buffy and Rory had to try slaying around a group of weird townsfolk yelling things at them.

First there was Taylor shouting at Buffy when he saw her crossbow, "Do you have a permit for that?" Then he turned to the vampires to complain, "You hoodlums are what's wrong with America today!"

Meanwhile, Kirk latched onto poor Giles. "Are there any job openings in the Watchers Council? Do Watchers make good money? Do you provide uniforms or would I be expected to buy one? What kind of health-" and the questions never seemed to end. Giles was getting close to throwing him at the vampires just to shut him up. Even Andrew wasn't nearly as irritating – although he would never admit that to his assistant.

When some lawn pieces in front of her store got smashed, Mrs. Kim called out, "You break, you buy." She looked at the Watcher and Slayer, then added, "Two percent discount for having a cross and holy water."

Miss Patty cornered one creature of the night and asked flirtatiously, "Hey, tall dark and vampiric! What else are those fangs good for?" He looked almost relieved when Rory shoved her stake through his heart.

"Get lost or I'll set you on fire," Jess snarled when one of the vamps dared to grab his leather jacket.

Catching up to Buffy, Babette inquired, "So these patrols are sorta like a passeggiata? That's Italian for 'a nice walk'. Say it for the Slayer, Morey," she commanded her husband.

Morey quickly complied in that special way he had, "Passeggiatas."

"Oh God, he makes it sound so sexy," Babette practically growled, which concerned Buffy. Not that she thought the woman was a demon, but that she'd tear off his clothes right there in public.

"Oh come on." Morey ducked his head in embarrassment.

Babette nudged Buffy's shoulder and teased, "Oh he's blushing. God I love a man that blushes!" At that, Buffy couldn't help but laugh at the odd couple.

As the dust from the vampire trying to bite him landed on his jacket, Michel whined, "I just bought this suede jacket! Do you know how hard it is to get dust out of suede?"

Paris stomped over to Giles, who had just managed to escape Kirk. "Does she get extra school credit for this? Because that's not fair she should get credit for something the rest of us can't do!" she shouted at the bewildered Watcher.

He wasn't alone in feeling overwhelmed. Emily finally had cornered Buffy and demanded, "Isn't there a way for Rory to do this without resorting to violence? It's so unbecoming for a Gilmore to act like a hooligan."

* * *

Later, when they were safely inside the locked diner, Buffy commented to her Watcher, "And you thought the Hellmouth was crazy, Giles. I wonder what causes it here."

"Welcome to my life. The whole town should be declared insane," Luke replied with a roll of his eyes.

Giles stared at the man for a second, then asked, "Including you?"

Instead of being annoyed by the question, Luke just shrugged, "Sometimes I wonder."

"But it makes life interesting! Now, Buffy, Rory and I need some coffee, stat!" Lorelai ordered her boyfriend, smiling at her daughter and blonde friend.

Luke walked over to the counter, muttering under his breath, "And I'm dating the queen of the lunatics."

* * *

A/N: Now Musie is content and quiet.


End file.
